I used to think that showing up for yourself was in some way selfish or rude. Even if that was at the detriment to myself.
I now know this comes from long engrained beliefs about what it means to be a good person (or a good girl more specifically). Being there for others is, of course, part of being a kind, compassionate human being, but there is a balance to be had.
If you do not self-advocate, what happens? For starters, you become exhausted and burnout, always putting others needs above your own.
You may experience low self-esteem and feel undervalued by those around you.
Resentment and frustration can build up and this can impact your relationships with those close to you.
Finally, if you're not prioritising your goals you may feel unfulfilled and stop investing in your own development.
Ultimately, not showing up for yourself can leave you feeling disconnected from your own life, limiting your happiness and sense of purpose.
Here are four ways I've learnt to show up for myself:
Know my boundaries: I've learned that it is ok to say no, to do what is right for me and protect my energy. It’s okay to prioritise your needs without feeling guilty or over justifying yourself.
Communicate my needs: When we have our needs met, we can thrive and be there better for ourselves and others. Being able to speak up about what I need has been a game-changer. I’ve found that clear communication helps me receive the support I deserve. Doing this also invites others to speak up about their needs.
Prioritise self-care: I’ve made self-care a non-negotiable part of my routine. Now that I know myself, I know when I need to step back and lean into doing things that fill my cup. Whether it’s a walk, reading, or just relaxing, these moments are vital for my well-being.
Celebrate my wins: It's not that often that we celebrate what goes well. Reflecting on your wins helps build confidence and resilience. I’ve started to truly appreciate my progress, big and small and recognising this for myself been a key part of my growth.
Join me in stepping into self-advocacy and you will see a shift in your confidence, self-worth and self-care.
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