The quiet cost of silence on teams (and what to do about it)

In many organisations, the things we don’t say can hold as much power as the things we do. Teams often struggle to create environments where people feel safe to share ideas, express concerns, or give constructive feedback. Yet, fostering open communication is essential to a healthy culture. In the words of Brene Brown, 'Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.' When we avoid difficult conversations, we risk damaging trust, reducing engagement, and stalling growth.

I am having more regular conversations with clients and within my network about 'speaking up' - or rather, people not speaking up. I am hearing, more frequently that trust is eroding, that people fear sharing their views or challenging each other, so instead they stay silent. And there are consequences to that silence.

Here I'm sharing why people hold back, the consequences of silence, and how leaders can create environments that encourage honest, respectful conversations.

Why do we hold back?

1. Fear of judgment - One of the primary (and primal) reasons people don’t speak up is fear—fear of being judged, fear of looking incompetent, or fear of retaliation. Brene Brown, a leading voice on vulnerability and leadership, emphasises that when we’re afraid of judgment, we hesitate to bring our full selves to the table. 'Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen,' she says. Without an environment where people feel safe to be seen and heard, they’ll often choose silence over honesty.

   
   

   Lack of psychological safety - Harvard professor Amy Edmondson defines psychological safety as 'a shared belief that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.' In the absence of this safety, people worry about potential social costs. Teams lacking this safety often become places where feedback and ideas are hoarded rather than shared. This fear of vulnerability keeps people guarded, diminishing collaboration.

   
   

2. Fear of hurting others’ feelings - Even when team members feel safe, they may avoid conversations they believe could harm someone else’s feelings. Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor, points out that people often fall into the trap of 'ruinous empathy' - the tendency to care about others’ feelings so much that they avoid honest feedback. 'Radical Candor,' is the ability to care personally while challenging directly, which means balancing empathy with honesty which can feel uncomfortable.

   
   

3. Belief that it won’t make a difference - Sometimes, people hold back because they feel their input won’t change anything. This is a particularly insidious problem, as it breeds a culture of resignation. When leaders fail to act on team feedback, it sends a message that speaking up is futile, creating a vicious cycle of disengagement. Susan Scott captures this well in Fierce Conversations: 'Our work, our relationships, and our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time.' If people believe their voices don’t matter, they stop having the conversations that could lead to change.

   
   

The quiet costs of silence

The cost of silence within teams is high. Unaddressed issues often fester, leading to misunderstandings, mistrust, and missed opportunities for improvement. The consequences of avoiding honest communication include:

1. Stalled growth - When people don’t feel safe to share new ideas or question the status quo, growth stagnates. Teams that avoid challenging conversations often miss out on the critical feedback that drives innovation and improvement.

   
   

2. Declining morale and engagement - Employees who don’t feel heard are less likely to feel connected to their work and the team’s goals. According to Gallup, disengaged employees lead to higher turnover and lower productivity. When people don’t feel they can be honest, motivation and engagement suffer.

   
   

3. Poor decision-making - Good decisions rely on diverse perspectives. Without open dialogue, decision-making becomes one-sided, favouring voices that are louder or more assertive rather than voices that bring diverse insights. Kim Scott’s concept of Radical Candor underscores the risk here: if feedback is withheld, leaders remain blind to issues that could derail initiatives and harm team cohesion.

   
   

4. Damage to trust - Brene Brown famously says, 'Trust is earned in the smallest of moments.' Each time a team member chooses to stay silent rather than engage in an open, honest conversation, it erodes trust in small but significant ways. This decline in trust makes future conversations even more challenging, creating a cycle of avoidance that harms the culture.

   
   

How to have honest conversations in your team

So, how can organisations and teams shift from a culture of silence to one of openness and courage? These steps set the foundation for a culture where honesty and respect coexist:

1. Model vulnerability - Leaders must set the example. Brown notes, 'You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.' It's uncomfortable but when leaders openly admit mistakes, ask for feedback, and acknowledge their own limitations, it encourages others to do the same. Vulnerability in leadership creates a ripple effect, showing the team that it’s okay to be open and honest.

   
   

2. Turning up the volume on psychological safety - Establish norms that encourage all voices to be heard. In Fierce Conversations, Scott talks about 'interrogating reality' and being open to seeing things as they are, not as we wish them to be. For leaders, this means inviting input, even when it’s difficult, and responding constructively. Team members should feel that their ideas and concerns are valued and will be taken seriously.

   
   

3. Practice radical candor - Kim Scott’s Radical Candor offers a practical framework for open communication: 'Care personally, challenge directly'. This balance allows leaders and teams to give feedback without falling into either ruinous empathy or harsh criticism. Practicing this means caring about people enough to tell them the truth while maintaining respect and kindness.

   
   

4. Encourage regular check-ins - Establish regular times for check-ins and feedback, making it clear that these moments are meant for open discussion. Whether in one-on-one meetings or team retrospectives, encourage people to share what’s working and what isn’t. Scott advocates for 'fierce conversations' that challenge assumptions and lead to breakthroughs. Regular feedback loops make speaking up a routine part of team dynamics, not just something for crisis moments.

   
   

5. Reward and acknowledge openness - Reward honesty. Recognise individuals who are brave enough to give candid feedback or bring up hard topics. Public acknowledgment of courageous conversations shows that openness is valued. This helps reinforce a culture where people feel comfortable speaking up, knowing that their honesty contributes to a stronger team.

Creating a culture of openness isn’t easy or quick, but it’s essential. When teams encourage honest conversations, they pave the way for greater innovation, trust, and resilience. Silence may feel safe in the short term, but its long-term consequences can be damaging.

By fostering environments that encourage open conversations and vulnerability, organisations can unlock the potential of each team member, turning once-silent issues into sources of growth and connection.

Self-reflection

Is silence an issue on your team? Here are some journaling prompts for you to reflect on:

• What do you observe is not being said on your team? What is the impact?

• What are you not saying and what prevents you speaking up?

• What impact might there be if you were to step forward and share what was on your mind?

• What are your beliefs about speaking up and being vulnerable with colleagues?

• How could you reframe vulnerability as a strength?

• Who could you encourage to speak up and how would you go about this?

• What one small action could you take to embrace vulnerability, courageous conversations and building trust?

If building trust and having open conversations is something you want to improve, get in touch to see how Gemma Brown Coaching could help you and your team.

What others have said:

Gemma facilitated a recent half-day session for us. The workshop involved all staff and Gemma did a fantastic job at ensuring everyone's voice was heard. Facilitation was executed perfectly and Gemma made sure discussions remained on topic and focused, whilst allowing the group to really explore some key areas. A really enjoyable session, that felt productive and one that will lead to positive changes. Senior Programme Manager, sustainability